A ticklish call

"Hello? Is that the fire brigade? You'll think me very foolish, but I've gone and got myself handcuffed to my mobile phone... That's right, my mobile phone... I am literally handcuffed to my mobile phone... You're right, I suppose I do look a bit like a clever visual metaphor for the situation in which an overworked businessman finds himself. How funny! But still, I'd appreciate it if you...

"The handcuff? Now that you mention it, yes, it is quite a bit bigger than the phone itself... I suppose I could just slip the phone out of the handcuff... Yes, that seems to have worked. You really must think me very foolish.

"But thank you so much, anyway, for helping a foolish old man. I'm sorry to waste your time with my unusual and easily remedied sexual accident. Good-bye now."