Nil by mouth (mince pies excepted)
Christmas Hospital is a magical place in which to be ill or dying because at Christmas Hospital, it is Christmas all year! It was established by Charles Dickens in 1863, the embodiment of his famous maxim: 'Christmas is the best medicine'.
Ten facts about Christmas Hospital:
- All beds in Christmas Hospital have stockings hanging off the end, even in the adult wards. They contain the patient's blood pressure chart and a Kinder Egg.
- Under their scrubs, Christmas Hospital anaesthetists are dressed as elves.
- ECT patients in Christmas Hospital are restrained with special non-conductive tinsel.
- In Christmas Hospital, X-rays are known by their proper name, Christ-rays, thank you very much.
- On Christmas Day 1915 in Christmas Hospital, the doctors and nurses ceased hostilities and came together for one beautiful hour to play a game of football. Eighty-nine patients died.
- Christmas Hospital is the only NHS establishment which provides parking for donkeys.
- In 2004, an E. coli germ swabbed from a dead patient in Christmas Hospital was observed, under an electron microscope, to be wearing a nanoscopic Santa hat.
- A court order prevents Robin Williams from making any films about Christmas Hospital.
- Hidden within every tenth suppository inserted in Christmas Hospital is a shiny sixpence.
- Christmas Hospital is closed on Christmas Day, Boxing Day and Fig Wednesday.
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I see that the Grumpy Santa Hat Doctor from your first post has cheered up somewhat, and looks all the better for it.