Recently in health and safety Category
Cheeky Ninja Angel Chef seemed like a bit of a gimmick when he swooped silently onto the nation's screens in 2005. But 12 BAFTAs, ten bestselling books, nine cookwear ranges and five mysterious TV chef assassinations later, it's clear he's here to stay. But what is Cheeky Ninja Angel Chef's secret? Let's have a look at his recipe (!) for success.
1. Apron
The badge of tradition and competence.
2. Simple dishes
No-one likes time-consuming recipes with dozens of ingredients. Cheeky Ninja Angel Chef says: why not just stick some raw food on a plate?
3. Sticky-out tongue plus ninja knife
For 'edge'.
4. Wings
Virtuous, but also a little kinky. They can be a fire hazard when Cheeky Ninja Angel Chef is cooking with gas, although paradoxically they can be used to put fires out if flapped rapidly.
5. Rubber gloves
Everyone wears rubber gloves on TV - even Wogan - because of the rays from the cameras. The great thing about cookery shows is you don't have to hide them with make-up.
#356,095: Standing with newspaper and briefcase at the same time
Dr. Apple, MD was a short-lived medical drama that ran for just sixteen episodes between 1989 and 1990. Barely remembered today, the mediocre series was notable for two reasons: firstly, it ran on 24-hour news channel CNN, and secondly, it featured a talking apple that could do operations.
In pretty much every respect, Dr. Apple, MD was like any other medical drama, aside from the fact that it featured a talking apple that could do operations. The show was originally written for a human actor, James Eckhouse, but when he turned out to have a phobia of hospitals, an apple was brought in at the last minute to replace him. The orginal scripts were used with a few minor modifications - sequences involving things that would be difficult for an apple to do, such as driving or horse riding, were cut, and there were more scenes set in baskets.
Dr. Apple, MD fared reasonably well in the ratings and only ended when its star, perhaps inevitably, began to rot. At first, the writers tried to stave off the process but it wasn't long before they ran out of plausible reasons for their lead character to spend most of his time in a fridge. Then they built the process of decay into the storyline - the doctor's wrinkled skin and coat of mould, it transpired, were symptoms of a rare disease caught from one of his patients, a Mexican priest who had married a vampire in Las Vegas by mistake.
The apple disintegrated under the studio lights before the final planned episodes of Dr. Apple, MD could be filmed. Screen tests with Patrick Stewart as a replacement talking apple that could do operations proved unconvincing, and so the series was cancelled.
While the show left little impact on popular culture, the number of apples applying to medical school in the US rose by 0.3% in the early nineties.
Oh, hello! You've just caught me serenading some colourful eggs in a hat. O, eggs all colours of the rainbow
From what kind of bird come ye?
I'm not a doctor so I don't know
If you're safe to eat for my tea
I'm guessing the eggs were laid by quite a lazy bird, otherwise it would have built its own nest out of hair, sawdust etc. rather than just using a hat it found on the floor.
But then again, maybe it takes a very clever bird to recognise that a hat is a ready-made nest. It might even have had to turn the hat upside down.
Hm.
Maybe if I sing to the eggs for a little longer, the sweet sounds of my music will entice whatever's inside to hatch out like feathery miracles!
O, eggs all colours of the rainbow
Please set your prisoners free!
Even if they're tasty space crows
I promise not to eat them for my tea
Can you boil water in a hat?
Did you ever wonder what goes on in kitchens? Well:
Best to stay out of kitchens, eh?
Best to stay out of kitchens, eh?
