Recently in spirituality Category

People are often suprised that a punk would read the Bible, but why shouldn't I? If you think about it, Jesus was kind of like the first punk. He was certainly 'anti-establishment'! And I think he put eggs in his hair to style it.

I've read the Bible loads of times now - when I finish it, I just go back to the beginning (except I always skip Genesis because I don't want to read about STUPID PROG). I keep my place with my Peter and the Test Tube Babies bookmark, which I don't think is sacreligous because I don't think Peter and the Test Tube Babies can have really been test tube babies. Test tube babies weren't invented (by the Devil) until 1978!

My favourite character in the Bible (apart from Jesus!) is definitely Jonah. Can you imagine playing a gig inside a whale's stomach? Everyone would be totally throwing up because of the smell of planktons, and the mosh pit would be all full of sick and planktons, and everyone would be all sliding around in the sick and planktons.

Test tube babies are evil, of course, but if I met one, I think I would pity it, because it's not really its fault it's a test tube baby, is it? Though if it tried to touch me and put Satan's germs on me, I'd smash its tube with my RIGHTEOUS FIST and leave it to suffocate.

I believe in miracles. I was praying really hard to Jesus once with my eyes tight shut like you're meant to but then I sneezed and I couldn't help opening my eyes and I accidentally looked up at my poster of Jesus and he winked at me! I swear. And EXACTLY forty days forty nights later, I won a Rancid single on eBay. I don't believe Teg turned water into cider that time, though.

I'm saving up for a lamb because it's the pet that Jesus would have. It's going to be a punk lamb as well as a Christian one, of course! I've already made a little nappy for it out of a bin bag, which is punk AND practical.

You'd think they wouldn't let me in a church looking like this, but they do! Reverend Booth is completely fine with it, though he does frown a bit when I spit in the font.